I was at the movies yesterday, catching Victoria and Abdul with mom.
The hall was filled with middle aged to retired people enjoying a weekday afternoon cinema, probably finding sanctuary from the scorching heat outside. At this point I’d also like to mention that if it was the Sahara outside, it felt like Antarctic inside.
We’re sitting in the furthest row away from the screen, with a seat on either side to spare, or to generously place our handbags on.
Munching away on nachos and cheese, with an occasional hesitance from my mom for choosing such a crunchy and ‘loud’ snack; until an elderly lady sits at the alternative seat adjacent to us and sneaks out a store bought packet of chips, munching away audibly, each bite assuring my mother of her choice of movie bites.
As the movie progresses, the story takes precedence and we’re all submerged in the telling of the true events- queen Victoria finds comfort, a friend and possibly a son like figure in Abdul, a lower class Muslim book keeper from pre-independent India.
So if you’ve seen the film or yet to catch it, the part of the film I’m about to mention hardly accounts as a spoiler.
The scene entails Abdul’s burkha clad wife ‘Mrs.Karim’ formally unveiling her face to the queen, to a woman.
The anticipation the director builds to the eventual reveal is gripping. Pretty much like this post I’d say.
So we finally get to see her face, with all possible expectations matching up to the constant take at Abdul’s dapper looks.
A sweet young Indian woman, with chubby cheeks, a demure demeanour and what can only be nerves for being in a film with such stalwarts, was revealed. She looked every bit a shy young bride would be.
Sadly, for the lady who gave my mom conspicuous company on the excessive munching, exclaimed ever so tactlessly, “wah! So fat!”
You see, we can’t blame her reaction. After all, it’s a film, where every understanding of Abdul’s physical traits should’ve met and extended to every relationship too. Because, god forbid, handsome Abdul would be caught dead with anything less than a beautiful princess.
Which brings me to the bone of contention- did the fact that she was ‘fat’ make her any less attractive or ‘worthy’ of the stud that’s Abdul?
I could only look at the lady with stunned silence, with a whirlpool of emotions running inside my own ‘fat’ being.
As an actor who is constantly told to loose weight, felt even more hopeless at her future in the industry. No matter the time and resources I’ve invested to hone my talent, it all comes down to my size.
My point was further illustrated when Mrs.Karim made another appearance towards the end, in a somber setting, innocently stitching something, and the audience let out audible giggles. I craned my neck to see some men and many women joining in on the mockery.
This didn’t make me mad or frustrated. I was left bewildered at what I was witnessing. Fat shaming a woman in a day and age where women are fighting against harassment. And more so, women partaking in some woman on woman crime.
We women are our own worst enemies. Not only are we insecure of our own selves, but we don’t miss a beat in bringing another woman down. Like a showdown, pitting ourselves against the other woman in the battle of the sex. Where victory goes to the one with the better body, the better hair, the better man candy, the better job, the better life.
And this mentality is deeper rooted. For centuries men have favoured a ‘better version’ of another woman. A woman who is aloof doesn’t measure up to a woman who is domesticated. A virgin is marriageable but a woman engaging in premarital sex is a whore. A woman who knows who she is and what she wants is sidelined for a damsel in distress.
These reasons may not be the entire truth but certainly have contributed in leading women to constantly strive for what the other woman, the ‘better’ woman has. And this thought process is so subconscious that all women at some stage are guilty.
It’s time we were kinder to ourselves, to the individuals we are. Let’s be more forgiving, more understanding. And then extend that compassion to other women.
Fuck those who make us doubt ourselves.
Camaraderie.
And to the wonderful actor who played Mrs.Karim, Sukh Olja, I say you were stunning in every frame you appeared in. And more importantly, you shared the screen with Dame Judi Dench. Now that’s badass.
Image courtesy: Tanvi Kothary
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